This is in direct response to the bloated feast of Narnia-mania currently sweeping the land in typical American fashion which means profit off of, condense and 'dumb-down' the beautiful prose of one of my favorite authors and thinkers as well as cast actors that never even read the damn thing. For all you yin-and-yanger headbangers as well as Lewis fans out there, I recently received a letter from Screwtape and I am posting it here. Apologies to this wonderful late author for borrowing and then subsequently butchering his ideas for my own glory. You see, Wormwood's got me in his clutches at the moment.