1st workout = 9 miles at work. Progression. 7:30 first mile and then moving up .1mph at each lap until 10.5mph. Down to 7:30 and back up to 6:50 with one random lap selected based on Tony Danza = 4:50 pace. 100 crunches with ab bar Will do 2nd workout late. Josie and I are going to see Narnia which is supposed to be wonderful. As a devout C.S Lewis fan, I was going into this planning to cower behind the seat from Hollywood's take of the tale. --------------------- Tony Danza, meet Brad Hudson. After 1 mile of treadmill peace and quiet staring at a white cinderblock wall, some man came in, turned on the Tony Danza show, did 5 reps of dumbell bench press and then left leaving the remote at the far reaches of the gym and me imprisoned in my little world with Tony Danza and some freakshow guy named 'Dr. G'. The workout was intense. Having an Italian Fozzy the Bear beam back at me behind an eyebrow veil of fakery, wax, and 'TA-DAs!!!!" didn't help things. Carol Burnett was on. She leaves. Some cooking lady appears and Tony waxes in mamas old country Italian while stirring pasta and blurting out, "TA DA!!!" commercial break and in drives what appears to be Will Ferrell's cousin in a dunebuggy. Out pops a character called Doctor G wearing a blue suitcoat embroidered with, well, 'Doctor G." He's the product guy pitching the sponsored product for the cattle to buy. He's doing the Xmas show and he's on fire. He gives away kitsch. He rolls his fancy head back and lisps his way into endorsements while tossing imaginary hunks of gift grass into the audience for the cattle to chew. The cattle clap and laugh. They chew their cud and nod their heads. Doctor G brings up a boxing video game on a new flatscreen bought with stolen credit cards. Tony Danza steps up and, yep, you guessed it. He puts on the gloves; he knocks the opponent out! TA DA!!! Commercial break. I'm dying over here. I'm at 10.5 and I'm feeling the 4 x 1000 across the Berlin Wall. I drop it down, jog though the commercials and then think of an idea. Why not interact the workout with Tony Danza? Since I'm in prison, can I perhaps carve out a little chess board made out of product endorsement soap? So I think that it's about time for the worlds to collide. I pick a Danza-esque word. TA-DA? Nah. Hmmm...how about "Amazing!" Sure. So when Fakeman says "Amazing" I'm hitting the treadmill for 1 lap of insanity. I'm bringing Brad Hudson into the set with a fucking baseball bat. We make it through more product endorsements. Doctor G hurls fake grass into the pasture and then it comes. I hear it. The teleprompter confirms it and we are rocking. The True goes faster than 12 mph so I run 1 lap at the Paul Tergat 1 marathon pace (4:50/mile). I finish with HOK. Slide off the mill and look up at Danza. TA DA!!!!