Jesus Loves the Eaglez

If you live where I do, then the Eaglez and the Eaglez and the Eaglez seep into your life like an overflowing septic tank that has been pooped in by decades of inbred West Virginans fed on Walmart brand cheese ballz and Jimmy Deanz brand Vienna Sausages. Cases in point: 1. I go to church with my daughter today and the Eaglez and T.O.'s greedy betrayal of said Eaglez work themselves into the homily for this reading: "Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him, 'You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to (the) poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.' At that statement his face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.' 2. My daughter's CCD homework sheet every week is closed as follows: "Go Eaglez!" So I'm convinced that Jesus loves the Eaglez and that T.O. is like the rich man in Mark's Gospel who Jesus rebuked. T.O. shouldn't have left the Eaglez because the Eaglez are God's team. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a crybaby Cowboy to enter the kingdom of God: That's what I learned today. This is why I go to church. And my daughter is up to speed too, because I send her to religious education to learn that good Catholics and all Jesus-loving peoples should root for the Eaglez (and Notre Dame, hallelujah--touchdown JESUS!!). This is because the last written word, the word usually reserved for the most imporant thing on all things pertaining to spiritual education, is for the Eagles to win. God works that way. He usurps man's free will occasionally to move the ball into the spoiled-brat wide receiver's hands and let the Eaglez win the day in front of the cheerleaders and the cattle. That's why the elite athlete people point their fingers to the sky when they score a touchdown--it's thanking God for taking over during the most important moments of the day, when the Eaglez and their fans gotta stay happy, when free will shouldn't exist. This is what it's like where I live.